The Prom Date

In the olden days, if you were not asked to prom, if you had no date, you just did not go. These days, well, for the most part, people go regardless if they have a date or not. More people these days go with a group of friends, or have one of their best friends as their "date". That's what I did last year.

Last year, I went with my very close friend Kelsey. I had a pre-prom party at my house, pictures, dinner, ya know, the usual. A bunch of my friends came over (male and female), got ready, our parents fawned over us, taking millions of photos of the same things, couples gave each other the proper flowery arrangement to wear, we ate dinner, and drove to the dance at the James J. Hill House. We all had a blast, each of us beautifully dressed and made up.

Yet, this year, for some reason, I told myself that I wanted a date, not just a girl friend to go with, but a real date, preferably not a last resort. And I had this one guy in mind. Zach. He has been such a great friend to me these past few months that I've actually taken the time to get to know him. He was funny, sweet, understanding, funny, he wasn't afraid of me (as in, he gave his true opinion without being hesitant and worried that I might explode or break down). He is, unfortunately, not going to be at MPA next year, he is going to be going to Hill Murray. All I wanted to do, all I had in mind, was to take him to one MPA prom, as a friend, before he left.

I had been thinking about asking him two weeks ago. So, last Friday, my school performed our Spring Show "Cabaret", and Zach was doing sound for the entire show, he was in charge of mics, reverb., how loud the band was, everything. I came early to the show to see if I could offer my help for last-minute things. Zach was doing mic checks, and asked me to sit up next to him for the entire show! He said that he would like someone to talk to during the show, I was like, "Okay, sure, why not?" So, through out the show, he'd say things like, "Can you hear okay?", "Was that cool or what?", "I kinda hate that guy's voice, don't you?", "This song is my favorite in the entire show!" It was great! I had a blast just sitting or standing next to him. During intermission, he also learned just how ticklish I am. THAT was an interesting time.

So, I had told a few friends at what I was planning on doing, and when my friends convinced me, literally PUSHED me to ask him, I finally plucked up enough courage to go up and ask him. So, after the concert was over, I went up to him, and I finally asked him if he would go with me. After a long pause, "Sorry but no." It felt like my world had turned upside-down. He gave me a hug and said, "Thank you for asking me though." If he said anything to me after that, I have no idea. The minute he let go, I walked away, willing myself not to start crying in front of anyone.

I guess I must have liked him more than I thought I did, I didn't think that he would have such an affect on me. I went home, and for the next two nights, I cried myself to sleep. I don't even know why he said no, but I guess that doesn't really matter, does it?

Love,
~Andie

Listening to: This Time Imperfect- A.F.I.

A Little Thing That Facebook Said About Me

You're a free spirit
Key Traits: romantic, dreamer, fickle, communicative, eager, fun, sprightly You're a free and creative spirit. Some people might call you a non-conformist, but you'd like to think of yourself as one who sees beauty where others might miss it.
You are inspired and feel passionate about the little things -- the way the sun beams through a window, a memorable guitar riff, a sparkle in someone's eye. Face it. You're a romantic, and even a bit on the wild side when it comes to sex. Your friends and family enjoy your company and value the way you view the world through your own kaleidoscope.
People love how imaginative and expressive you are. On the flip side, it takes a lot to keep your attention. But when you encounter someone who can pique your interest and complement your creative disposition, it will be rewarding and powerful!

I guess for the most part, a lot of this is true.

Out,
~Andie

Listening to: S.O.S. (Anything But Love)

Just How I Really Feel Right Now

______________________________________________________________

I never lie

*laughs* Or so people think.
I try not to. If someone asks me a question that I am not comfortable answering, I tell them that I won't answer, or I tactfully change topics. I hate lying. But when it comes to how I feel, you know, how I truly feel, not just in that one second, but over all.

For some reason, when it comes to answering that question, I always find myself lying. Am I fine? No. I haven't been fine in a long time. Weeks, months, maybe even years, I don't know. I feel like I'll never actually be fully okay, or "fine".

But then again, we all kind of lie when it comes to this question. At least, I know that I am not alone in it.

Why do we do this? Why do we constantly hide ourselves? Is it an attempt to protect ourselves from other? Then again, how does that protect us? It hurts us more then helps us. When not telling the truth about this to someone, they can't help you if you need it, can they
?

Peace,
~Andie

Listening to: Travelin' Soldier- Dixie Chicks, Europop- Eiffel 65

A Secluded World

You want to be left alone? Just put on your head phones, turn the music up as loud as you can take it, and then pray to god that every one will just ignore you. Let the music take you into another world, music lets me escape the things that I don't want to think about, escape the things I don't want to remember. It helps me forget, just for a few, glorious seconds, I can have peace in this crazy world.

Out,
~Andie

Listening to: Sanctus Real